Jessica Simpson is going to be a "Mummy"!

Yes, I spelled that right. She did too. She's going to be a mummy for Halloween... and a Mommy!

Who knew the girl that was once confused by the components of canned tuna could deliver witty jokes like this one?

The thing is that no one is surprised. We have been able to see her baby bump for weeks now. This was even clearer than the Kim Kardashian - Kris Humphries divorce, and THAT was clear enough.

The postponed wedding will now be postponed until who knows when. Maybe she'll never get married. However, Miss Sexual Napalm herself has a baby now, so she has secured a man.

The singer/entrepreneur/designer/reality star/mommy-to-be/mummy announced it on Twitter. Here's her statement. Do you think she decided to announce her wedding today so it wouldn't be such a big deal?

LOL -->

Congratulations to Jessica and... I truly forget the guy's name.

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E! News thinks Kris Humphries is behind Kim's earrings

Kim Kardashian's divorce petition documents state that whatever belongs to Kim is Kim's, and Kris better not come saying he wants some of it. 

Docs say that Miscellaneous Jewelry and other personal effects is part of Kim's property. 

Also, the petition reads that any other "Earnings and accumulations" of Kim gained before, during and after shall remain her property. I wonder if that includes any gain in weight.

HOWEVER,  E! News got it a little mixed up. 

On their website, they seem to believe that Kim lists as separate property, not only her miscellaneous jewelry, but also her "earrings and accumulations" (instead of "earnings and accumulations!).

They must think Kim is really worried about Kris wanting Kim's ear bling... which would make sense if you think about that time when Kris threw her into the waters of Bora Bora and she threw a 3-year-old-girl fit because she lost her diamond earrings. Maybe that's all he really wanted from her. 

E! News story is HERE. Read it before they change it, but we have the screen shot as proof.
For the full divorce docs click HERE.

Breaking News: Kim Kardashian filing for DIVORCE

They used to be such a happy couple...
or not.
Umm, yes. This is what I call Breaking News these days.

If any of you got sucked into watching the 4 hours of over-the-top wedding entertainment/drama/BS, Ryan Seacrest would like to thank you. Also, you might have noticed that Kim and Kris never really got along to begin with... so raise your hand if you're NOT surprised.

Some slammed Khloe for getting married in 10 days. Well, she has been happily married for 2 years now. Others said Khloe was being unsupportive of Kim's boyfriend because she really hated him and probably still does. She was right! Pow!

Back to Kim. Don't worry about her, she makes millions out of anything that happens to her. She'll make millions out of this... (Ryan Seacrest will too) How? She and momager Kris Jenner will find a way.

And don't worry about Kim's millions... she signed a prenup, of course.

Khloe is always right.
What really is great is that Kris Humphries can now go back to being the unknown douchebag he was before... without the Kardashian lifestyle and $$. All that, while currently being unemployed or on lockout, same sh*t.

As you are reading this, E! is probably sending 10 crews to Kim's home, because you didn't think this wasn't going to be on the show, right?

Without a doubt, Kim Kardashian is officially the new Elizabeth Taylor minus the talent.

My guess is that Kim K probably filed for divorce after reliving what Kris told her at the end of the Kourtney & Kim Take New York promo. Wow.
Update - 2:24PM:
Click HERE for TMZ's Kim's divorce petition documents.
Conclusion: 1. She won't pay spousal support 2. Kris has to pay for his own lawyer 3. I like Kim's signature.

TMZ broke the news.


Ladies & Gentlemen: History of Rap 3!

When I saw Justin Timberlake was scheduled to appear on Jimmy Fallon last night, I flipped out. Could History of Rap 3 be a reality? Yes, indeed!

I'm not going to get into the debate of which one was better... the 3 of them were beyond amazing.

Jimmy Fallon is entertaining, but there's something about him when he does comedic skits involving MUSIC. Then, he's really freakin' fantastic. Examples: Whip My Hair, the Bob Dylan impressions and of course, History of Rap 1 & History of Rap 2.

Justin Timberlake and Jimmy have such an undeniable chemistry, and that's why these skits are so damn hilarious and... epic!

On a side note, why is it that Jimmy is only a good interviewer sometimes? I have him all figured out...

If he's friends with the interviewee or has some sort of relationship with them, it's great (See: Justin Timberlake or Amy Poehler).

If he just met them, the interview is awkward, a bit uncomfortable to watch and he keeps fake-laughing at everything they say. For you to get a better understanding of a fake laugh, this is what Urban Dictionary says: 
A person can be caught putting on a fake laugh by him/her laughing too suddenly, and ending the laughter suddenly, usually with a straight face throughout it or at the end
(See: most of the guests of the show like this one).

Back to awesomeness... Here's History of Rap 3: