8.15.2012

Breaking News: A Celebrity Shopping Spree!

That’s exactly what TMZ and Daily Mail have been reporting on.

In reality…
1) This shouldn’t be considered a shopping spree, because a $3,000 shopping outing in Hollywood is the equivalent of you and I buying a Forever 21 tank top.

2) Lindsay Lohan is not even a celebrity anymore. I mean, when was the last time you saw her in court in a movie?

Wait, I take that back. She did do that super low-budget Liz Taylor movie (even though she looks nothing like her).

So, back to the alleged splurge. According to Daily Mail, LiLo spent $2,723 “in just one visit”. Just one visit? Why is that surprising? Were they expecting her to do layaway?

What I was in fact worrying about is that she is not spending this surfing money properly. Based on pictures we’ve seen of her, she’s obviously a terrible surfer. Instead of spending the money on equipment, maybe she could have rented the equipment… or even better, hired an instructor. 

Thankfully, all my worries were laid to rest when I found out all this surfing gear was for her brother, Cody – an “aspiring surfer”. Phew.

Now, let’s do a bit of math here…

Apparently, shopping receipts are
public record nowadays.
TMZ calls this “reckless spending”. Hmm... Lindsay made $2million dollars last year. That means $2,723 is the 0.1% of her annual income. That would be like $36 for a person with a $36K income. Not reckless, at all.

By the way, Lindsay once used to make $7.5 million for a single movie. She made a reported $300,000 for “Liz and Dick” this year. (96% change -horizontal analysis for the finance buffs!)

The Receipt
If you look at the receipt, “Jack’s Surf Shop” is giving Lindsay a 30% discount. (She saved $1,000!) Now THAT bothers me. It’s as unfair as Warren Buffett paying a lower tax rate than his secretary. 

Now, the real issue here is… Who is Jamal? The sales slip says he’s the one that OK’d that discount. 30%?? He might be getting called into Jack’s office for some questioning. Jamal probably leaked this receipt himself to get his 15 minutes of fame as "The Man That Gave Lindsay Lohan The 30% Discount".

Just so we’re all clear: Lindsay Lohan did try to steal a necklace recently, but that does not mean she can’t afford a $3,000 shopping ‘spree’.

Now, enjoy this excerpt of a surfing short film that features Lindsay Lohan playing a surfer that doesn’t surf.
She sure masters the art of carrying that surfboard while wearing a full face of make-up on the beach!